Wednesday, 11 January 2012

Another bridge ignited by your spark

oh would you look at this,
it was a complete shoot and miss.
The sinister lie you spend your time with
You chose chaos over bliss.

Committing actions baised on whim
causing your concious voice to dim.
You're so sickly sorry when our eyes brim,
That perfect mask took over the old him.

I assume with your logic that you know
This was another bridge you decided to blow.
Did you think of once how it would affect me so?
I'd like to think so, but in reality, the answer is no.

Your facade is losing it's touch

Not all unbelievable
not all that inconceivable.
Hours, days, endless time wasted trying
attempting autonomy with a false underlining.
Knees buckling from the insurmountable weight
unyielding insecurities begin to procreate.
Relying on fictitious hope that I mattered
exhaustion hovered bedside with prayers unanswered.
And now hypocritical notions spill from your mouth
as if you bothered assisting an ounce.
Recounting the numbers of the ones who've done me wrong
I added one more because I know you've been one all along.

The Ballad of a Past Love Song

was I good enough?
Wasn't I faithful enough for your love?
What didn't you like?
Did I put up too much of a fight?

It's okay, you know.
Even though I loved you so.
I'm fine, it's better now.
I'm with a love I allow.

I'll be honest, starting here.
We weren't right for eachother, dear.
Too different in the wrong ways,
because we'd stay silent for days.

It's okay, you know.
Even though I loved you so.
I'm fine, it's better now.
I'm with a love I allow.

There was a time 
Where you were mine,
but you didn't want to try
You aided our love to die.

I suppose it was for the best
To leave me just like the rest,
but he is prooving my suspicions wrong
while holding my heart during a love song.

It's okay, you know.
Even though I loved you so.
I'm fine, it's better now.
I'm with a love I allow.

Obscurity of chance

you're one of a kind/ just so hard to find/ lost in the abyss of our mind/ still struggling to keep in line/ while the world goes down/ we watch it burn to the ground/ the screams are so loud/ that no one is saying a sound/ but at this point in life/ no matter the trouble or strife/ or the attraction to the knife/ we'll always escape the reapers scythe.

Cold flame of broken nostalgia

Freezing alone in the theoretical cave you left me in
Shivering away the last shimmer of hope and pride.
Self pity is the toughest opponent to face for victory
Self destruction deems the most appropriate for defeat. 

Exploring ones inner demons can feel impossible 
Exploiting your own faults falls under unthinkable.
To find the way out is to battle your inner fears,
To achieve your freedom you must trust natural instincts.

Attempting to dismiss the obscure thought of lost memories
Struggling against the persistence of unforgotten habits. 
The silent line has been broken with quiet kindness,
The frozen response weighs me more than you know.

Reality and clarity at stake

how can i undo 
whats already been done?
why did i do this to
the people that once held my sun?
i've been lost
and so much repressed.
Sanity and clariety was the cost
and all I needed was rest.

Look I'm sorry
Theres nothing left to say.
no use to share my story
when it's on repeat every day.
Many people have come and gone
some good, others were users
alot of them did me wrong
I even got with some abusers.
This didn't take a long time
for me to completely break down.
I couldn't claim anything mine
Cause I was broken on the ground.

I'm slowly rebuilding myself
but it's a long process.
I'm trying to fix this life
but it's such a mess.

Early emotions on a Wednesday

can you see what you've done?
You tried too hard, you burnt out the sun.
Whatever we had, it wasn't fun
now it's too late, this damage can't  be undone.

You pushed me, you hurt me you bruised me.
I tried to be the person you wanted me to be.
It never was enough, and I paid the fee.
I'll never be okay with what I see.

I only wanted you to be happy all this time
I sit and try to find words that rhyme
It was foolish for me to call you mine
When, to you, I costed less than a dime.

Now you won't even look my way
But I can still remember that one day
You said you loved me, what a game to play
With a broken heart, this girl has nothing to say.