Deep down I'm just another reject

I’m running on pure adrenalin 

My darkest wish is to pour crimson

All over these empty walls

I’m struggling so hard against these calls.

Everywhere I look is full of memories

I’d love to be lost within the breweries.

I’m fighting the thoughts with my might

Although I’m not sure how long I can fight.

It would be so easy to give in to them all

They would be all so happy if I fall.

The voices scream at me to do so.

But the little voice that is me screams back “no”.

So small, so inaudible I can barely hear

So insignificant the noise is so unclear.

Can I make it with this little thought?

Or will I lose this fight I’ve already fought?

Disguising my distress with such smiles

Even though I’ve been sent to the exiles.

I feel so disgusting with just the thought of it

They believe I should sit and take the hit.

The real me can’t sit still any longer

So I’ll just give in and go on a bender.

Forgetting conscious thought and reason

Not even caring if I’m alone and beaten.

Until I come down and see the damage I’ve done

Then my heart starts to thicken

The guilt of my actions will have no affect

Because deep down, I’m just another reject.